I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
