You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
