were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
