I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
