TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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