yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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