Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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