it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
