If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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