I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
