that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
