She's JV to your varsity
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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