Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
