i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
