Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
