We're like a lot better than the average bears
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
