guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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