i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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