I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I need water and some morals
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.