Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .