I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.