Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut