tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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