i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.