I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions