Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS