Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
