Yo dont text me then not text me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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