break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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