After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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