I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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