so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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