So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
