His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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