We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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