So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bring me that man meat
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
