I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
