defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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