he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
