Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
