Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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