yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
