hotel room ftw
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
