We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
