i don't like sucking hair
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
