he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
