I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
