I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
