"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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