Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
