ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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