It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
