the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
