i used baking grease as lip gloss
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize