Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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