I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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