and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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