Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
