my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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