batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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