I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
