I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
