Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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