I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
