at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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