More tranny stories later!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
