Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
