Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
