Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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