I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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