Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
